Success is hard.
Setting and reaching goals is hard.
Building a business is hard.
Winning a sport is hard.
Running a marathon is hard.
Exercise is hard.
Parenting is hard.
Nearly everything in life WORTH doing, worth achieving, worth doing right, is hard – but here’s the kicker, it’s ALWAYS worth it.
Nothing worthwhile was ever achieved easily. It should be tough, it should be a journey, it should have growing pains, ups and downs, and moments where you wonder what in the world are you doing – but you don’t give up. You keep going. You persevere. You push through.
I don’t set goals for what I’ll “get” when I achieve them. I set goals for what I have to “become” in order to achieve them.
Want a million dollars? I’m telling you right now reaching that goal is going to be at LEAST 75% about who YOU are and not your actual strategy. Your ability to pay yourself first, to make smart financial choices, your ability to control your cash, hang in there when times are rough and more importantly how you manage your time (which is where we see true self-discipline) is going to have more impact on the attainment of your goal then your actual strategy of making a million dollars.
I’ve heard many say reaching any goal is 80% mental, and only 20% the strategy you actually use.
Want a happy marriage, loving children and a beautiful, close, honest and supportive family? It’s your ability to become that, to embody that vision, that’s going to do more towards the attainment of that goal than finding a partner, making babies and buying a home.
Want to climb Mount Everest? It’s more than strapping on boots and following the trail. Heck, there are many books that will give you the EXACT strategy to reach that goal. But that’ll be completely useless if you don’t become someone who can physically endure the trip.
I could go on, but you get the point – who YOU are has more to do towards the attainment of a goal then the actual strategy. Like they say on Dragon’s Den “We invest in the entrepreneur, not the business”. They understand they’re looking for the WHO, not the WHAT.
So what influences WHO you are? You’ve probably heard the old saying “who you spend time with is you you become”.
I’ve always believed that who you hang around with, what you listen to, the shows you watch, things you listen to, etc. has, whether consciously or subconsciously (over time) an impact on your own beliefs, values and attitude.
But I’ve always felt there’s something missing here…
What if you spend all day hanging out with great, goal focused achievers with powerful belief systems who encourage, mentor and build you up all day long… Does that guarantee you will become of the same caliber?
Why? Because you may spend a portion of your time with them, you spend 100% of your time with yourself.
And from my decade in the health and wellness industry, and my years consulting entrepreneurs, I can tell you this without a doubt: Most people talk to themselves worst then anyone ever talks to them.
Most people would never stand for someone telling them they are an idiot, yet the second they make an error their internal voice goes “gosh I’m an idiot”.
Let’s go even deeper…
Have you ever had someone tell you “you can’t do it”?
Probably, and odds are part of you went “FU, you can’t tell me what I can’t do!”.
Yet, how many times have you told yourself you can’t do something? Do you shut yourself up when you say it to yourself? Or do you answer with “you’re probably right!”
What if I asked you right now to get up and give a speech to 300 people?
For many, the very first thing that popped into their head was “hell no, I can’t do that!”.
And I’m here to tell you that you are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.
You can’t do it.
Wait, what did I just say?
That’s right, I said it, you can’t do it.
Let me explain…
Where does “you can’t do it” come from?
Well, it means, in long form, that “you can not do it”, correct?
And there lies the ultimate power of choice, the choice everyone has.
Read it again.
You CAN not do it.
You have the ability, the choice, to not do it. You CAN not do it.
Everyone has that choice. We can all not do something.
We can also DO something.
You CAN not do it.
You CAN do it.
This may seem like semantics, but it’s impact on the mind is powerful. When someone says to me “Al, you can’t do that” my mind immediately goes “that’s true, I can NOT do it, or I CAN do it, which do I want to choose?”
I immediately affirm to myself that I have the power of choice, that I can choose not to do something, or I can choose to do it. I CAN (am able) not to do something.
It takes me from feeling insecure and out of control, to empowered and with the power of choice at my finger tips.
It’s not that I can’t do something, it’s that I have the choice.
And here’s the real beauty… If you decide, for what ever reason, that you don’t want to do something, it’s not because you can’t, it’s because you chose, you decided NOT to do something, which means you’ve already achieved and are in control. Don’t want to do something? Good news, you can NOT do it. Success! Or, you can do it. It’s up to you.
One little warning…
This isn’t meant as a crutch, a way out, or an excuse not to take on new challenges and grow. It’s designed to give power, confidence and the power of choice back in your hands.
My goal is to change the way you view “can’t” from a self-defeating limitation, to a conscious choice.
Don’t ever let anyone, even yourself, say that you can’t do something. You CAN. And you can choose not to do something, or you can choose to do it. The choice is yours to make.
Don’t let fear, insecurity or doubt control you or your thoughts. You’ve got this.
To your success,